Ready to do things in a new way
Ready to do things in a new way
It was almost as if I was crawling along a dusty road with no water in sight. I was dried up and exhausted. I am sure many of you can relate to being so done with the way life was going that you finally had to admit that it was all wrong. But there was something else. I had a knowing that there was something that I was missing. It was a longing, like I had it once but I forgot where I put it.
How do we know which way is the way we are suppose to choose? Well, from a very young age, we are told what the “right” way is. That was how the child-parent relationship was designed. The parent steers their child in the direction that they know to be correct. If the child rebels against the parent, there is discipline. So the child eventually follows the parent’s direction. As a child I remember many many arguments with my mother because her way did not make any sense to me. The first fight I can remember so clearly was being 4 years old and not wanting to wear a hand-me-down pair of shorts because I thought they were boy shorts. It turned out that they were boy shorts but to my mom, it was about just getting dressed so that we can move on with the day.
As a parent, I can clearly see that my experiences and interests drive what I think is the right direction and that is very different from my children’s interests. But many of us willingly followed our parents direction even as we got older and were choosing college, a major, our jobs, our partners, and where to live. As life became bigger and decisions became heavier, differing to those with experience was an easy path. The “right way to live” was laid out for some of us by our parents and teachers, so we followed. Then what went wrong? Why are so many of us stressed and unhappy? I offer that it is because we lost our way. The way that was intended for us.
I hear so many fiends and clients saying that they have a great life and that they are so grateful for everything and everyone that is in it but they still feel like something is missing. This is exactly where I was. My life was privileged and beautiful but it did not fulfill me. In fact it caused stress everyday. It took more effort to keep looking like I enjoyed my life and that was completely depleting my energy. That is when I found myself asking “how do I do life in a different way?”
When I look back at that moment, I see it as being such a powerful step, although at the time I felt like I was powerless. When we shift our focus from making our unfulfilled life work to stopping and starting a new path, our intention changes and new doors start to fly open. Teachers and guides start to appear. This is the moment to get curious and open to all possibilities without judgement or fear. The best thing you can do for yourself in these moments is to tell yourself that you are exactly who you are and where you are supposed to be in this moment. Stay present and mindful. This will help you to see what is being presented to you on your new path. Trust that you have taken this step towards a new way because you are ready. Forgive yourself and all decisions you had made before. You did your best with the information you had at the time. You are now moving toward future you that is more authentically you than ever before and that is exactly who this world needs. Bon Voyage Love!