Let’s focus on revival
Since March, there have been many uncertainties to navigate. So many of the things that were part of our every day life are no more. We waited to see if it was going to return but now almost a year later we can start to see that there may be an end to this pandemic on the horizon but we do not have certainty. I see this is moving many of us into new states of anxiety and hopelessness. If we continue to hang on and wait for this to pass we will be in a holding pattern for far more time than any of us have patience for. So I’ve started to think about this time in a different way.
I am the first to admit that pre-pandemic life was getting to me. My family of four was over scheduled. But our scheduled activities we’re not bringing fulfillment. In fact they were depleting us. My cousin who does not have kids came with us one typical Saturday. We started the day rushing off to a soccer game only to rush back in the car drive 35 minutes to a basketball game. From there we made ad hoc dinner plans to eat at a local Italian restaurant because I didn’t have enough food in my refrigerator to make a dinner for seven people nor did I have the energy to start preparing a meal. Besides, my house was still upside down from the week and I am pretty sure we did not have enough clean dishes. My cousin was laughing at everything we do in a day and the rushing around that happens on a regular basis. I was beyond laughing at it. Throw in dance classes, birthday parties, studying for tests, a full time job, a husband that travels most weeks, and a new puppy, it was dizzying.
I had been looking for opportunities to lessen our activities, my kids needed a change, and I recognized that our time was not ours. I had surrendered to the idea that time was not my own since all of my jobs have always spilled over to “home/personal time”. But now I was seeing the effects on my kids. I had allowed external pressures to dominate my families time. How did I let this happen? How did many of us allow this to happen? There are friends who would say that going to game after game and practices and performances was fun for them. Was it? Or had they surrendered to theses schedules? One friend who I have known since our boys were in a soccer academy starting at 4 years old said that when her son was injured and could not play for a season, he said that he was enjoying the family time. My son is 11 and we have rarely had time to visit the zoo or go for a hike. We had been so focused on providing them with the best chances to develop their athleticism that we had to forgo the downtime that allows families to connect.
As a mom of 2, I was starting to look ahead at how few years I have with them and I wanted more of these upcoming years. I also wanted to be able to be more present with them. Instead of my attention on the endless list of things to do to prepare for the activities. Buying the new baseball pants, he lost his basketball and needs a new one to bring to practice, she needs new ballet slippers, when can I fit in the puppies visit to the vet...the list can go one for days. Should we just stop everything? How would that effect them? I would fantasize each August about not signing them up again but we would always end up exactly where we were the year before. So while the great pause was scary, it was also welcomed. We were safe, healthy, and all together. Family time to the extreme.
I got the change that I was looking for. I got the chance for quiet time. For introspection. For meditation and yoga. For relaxed conversations with my family. We heard each other. We saw each other. We sat and watched movies together. We ate meals as a unit. We went on walks and just watched as Spring emerged. There were projects in the yard and game nights. There were naps on the weekends. I will remember the stillness of those first 3 months.
I believe in the value of stillness in order to see and know where to go next. We all have a center to retreat to from the swirling hurricane where there is calm. However in the pace of pre-pandemic life, you would have needed to be very intentional and mindful to be familiar with this internal calm. I know my center, and I know how different I feel when I am not connected to my center. I am tired, irritable, impatient, and self absorbed. In other words, not my best self. When I am centered I am truthful, focused on service to others, and act out of love. Our center is the source of each one of our unique powers. When it is depleted, we are not able to positively contribute our authentic gifts to the world. Compassion, patience, love, trust, courage, honesty, joy, and faith are all gifts that emerge from our center. When we know our center and the powers it has to contribute to this world, we can also know when we are running low on charge and that it is time to pause and recharge.
When you sit with your center, it recharges. The fully charged power fuels your daily life and all the things that you do. Some things deplete the charge more than others. When you are doing activities that bring you joy and happiness, your power maintains itself or depletes slightly. When you encounter stress or struggle, the power runs down quicker. Taking a moment to be present, have gratitude, and appreciate beauty extends the charge. Being distracted with thoughts of wanting and self-loathing is depleting. Find the practices and quick routines that are effective in returning your to center for a recharge. Learning your patterns of what quickly depletes you if equally important. The more you can recognize those shifts in energy in yourself, the better you will be at keeping your charge full. I invite you to spend a few days checking in with yourself by asking yourself what is your battery level at? Just like your phone, do you let it completely run out before charging? Would you let your gas tank get to E before pulling into a gas station?
As we emerge from this great pause, we have the chance to step forward in a better way. Revival. Find your center. Know how to return there when you need to recharge. Learn ways to protect your power from depleting and how to effectively restore the charge. We can go back to the way things were in time. But is that honestly what you want?